health magazine: A Good Laugh:
6/22/2006
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Jay Leno: “And according to a poll in ‘Health’ magazine…more Americans said they'd rather have Bill Clinton as their father than President Bush. Well, sure. With Clinton you'd get away with a lot more, don't you think? ‘Look, I won't mention you coming home late if you don't mention me coming home late.’”
Jay Leno: “And another Bush team member stepping down, this time his long-term speech writer, guy named Michael Gerson. He was President Bush's speechwriter for seven years. Isn't that amazing? President Bush had a speechwriter.”
Jay Leno: “Al Gore getting more vocal lately. You heard his latest? He spoke out today about the US air strike. You know, we used those two 500-pound bombs to kill that al Zarqawi guy. Well, Gore said they could have done the same job with one hybrid mini-bomb that runs on vegetable oil.”
Jay Leno: “The Supreme Court has ruled that with a warrant police no longer have to knock before kicking your door in. Unless of course you're Vice President of the United States, and they want to talk to you about shooting a guy in the face. Then they'll come back tomorrow.”
David Letterman: “About a week ago, they bombed al-Zarqawi, and now they're sifting through the remains of the house where he was bombed and they're finding unbelievable things. Earlier today, for example, they uncovered the body of Jimmy Hoffa.”
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Jay Leno: “And according to a poll in ‘Health’ magazine…more Americans said they'd rather have Bill Clinton as their father than President Bush. Well, sure. With Clinton you'd get away with a lot more, don't you think? ‘Look, I won't mention you coming home late if you don't mention me coming home late.’”
Jay Leno: “And another Bush team member stepping down, this time his long-term speech writer, guy named Michael Gerson. He was President Bush's speechwriter for seven years. Isn't that amazing? President Bush had a speechwriter.”
Jay Leno: “Al Gore getting more vocal lately. You heard his latest? He spoke out today about the US air strike. You know, we used those two 500-pound bombs to kill that al Zarqawi guy. Well, Gore said they could have done the same job with one hybrid mini-bomb that runs on vegetable oil.”
Jay Leno: “The Supreme Court has ruled that with a warrant police no longer have to knock before kicking your door in. Unless of course you're Vice President of the United States, and they want to talk to you about shooting a guy in the face. Then they'll come back tomorrow.”
David Letterman: “About a week ago, they bombed al-Zarqawi, and now they're sifting through the remains of the house where he was bombed and they're finding unbelievable things. Earlier today, for example, they uncovered the body of Jimmy Hoffa.”
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